Roast jokes

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

Jorden Calerendiá.

I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.

POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.

Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.

Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.

Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

I just roast all of your chins because I don't know which is uglier.

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

Boom! Roasted!

Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.

Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.

Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."