Roast

Roast jokes

Mom

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

School

POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.

Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.

Face

Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.

Vegetable

What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

Boom! Roasted!

Momma

Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.

Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.

Trash

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

Body

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

Friend

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

Mom

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"

Weight

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

Sentence

If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.

Ass

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

Chin

I just roast all of your chins because I don't know which is uglier.