Roast jokes

Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.

"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."

A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

His wife asked what that was for.

"It is for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"

1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”

2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.

3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.

Yo mama so fat, she's bigger than the universe itself!

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.

Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.

I just roast all of your chins because I don't know which is uglier.

What did the boy say to the girl? "Damn! You pissy, stank!"

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*

I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.

I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????

Nope. I'm moving to Japan.

KONNICHIWA

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.

Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.

You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.

Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.