Roast jokes

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.

Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.

I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.

Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.

Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.

Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.

If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.

Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.

Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

Boom! Roasted!

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

I just roast all of your chins because I don't know which is uglier.

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.