Roast jokes

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.

I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

Your hairline is so bad, I do your mom so hard!

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.

A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

His wife asked what that was for.

"It is for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.

Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.

Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭

Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.

You're so ugly your mirror shattered.