Roast jokes

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.

"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"

Stop it why offends... asf.

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

Be careful around fire, plastic melts.

Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the ocean.

Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.

Your teeth are sponsored by gap.

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

"No towers? :("

"No queen? :("

Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?

A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.

Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.

Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.