Roast jokes

Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.

Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.

Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.

Take a few steps back like your hairline.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.

You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Where's your off button?

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

Your hairline goes back to the first century.

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.