Roast jokes

Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.

Take a few steps back like your hairline.

Where's your off button?

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

Your hairline goes back to the first century.

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

But when?

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.