Roast jokes

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

Where's your off button?

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

My friend: You're ugly.

The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.

But when?

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.