You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
"Go back to Party City, where you belong!" — Phi Phi O’Hara, RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Someday you'll go far.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Me: (quiet)
Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
roses are red violets are blue it's really no wonder your mama left you
Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
