Roast jokes
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
"Go back to Party City, where you belong!" — Phi Phi O’Hara, RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Someday you'll go far.
You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Me: (quiet)
Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
Sus
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.