Roast jokes
Someday you'll go far.
You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Me: (quiet)
Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
Sus
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.