Roast jokes
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.
When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.
That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.
Your hairline is so far back, a pilot thought it was an airplane.
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!