Roast jokes

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.

Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.

That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Jorden Calerendiá.

I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.

Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.

POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.

Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.

Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

I just roast all of your chins because I don't know which is uglier.