Roast jokes

You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.

"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.

"Me," Wait, what...ever.

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

My friend: You're ugly.

The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.

I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.

When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.

That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?

Your hairline is so far back, a pilot thought it was an airplane.

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!

Jorden Calerendiá.

I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.