Roast jokes

I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.

"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race

"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"

Your face makes onions cry.

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.

It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.

My bully: Your face is ugly.

Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.

My bully: :(

I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.

"Go frick a cow!"

"I already fricked your mother."

You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.

The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.