Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
Why did Mimi cross the road?
She had cancer.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
