Road jokes
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.
I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Why do y’all call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.
We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
What did the other traffic cone say to the other?
"Look away, I'm changing!"
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.