Road

Road jokes

Man

  • A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”

    The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”

  • 1
  • Speed Bump

  • What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.

  • 4
  • Dad

  • I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

    But when I got home, all the signs were there.

  • 0
  • Car

  • My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

  • 2
  • Pedo

  • A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

  • 1
  • Chicken

  • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.

  • 3
  • Sign

  • What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?

    "Can you give me some pointers?"