Road jokes
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To prove he had guts! :)
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.