Road jokes
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.