Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
Road Jokes
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”
The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
Toilet paper cried across the road.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find his family. Sorry!
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
