When I was younger i went to an indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the Cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly". So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
what is somthing that makes you wish you were dead and rips your skin off and is small and can wear you out in two seconds and betray you in any way posible and can eat you alive.kid's
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew the answer would be a comb or a piano but technically if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them they have teeth but can't chew with them
up into the sky so very far here comes Dr. Seuss ALLAHU AKBAR, at the ripe old age of 97 he committed 9/11
"Want to hear a joke about pizza never mind it is to cheesy" -Hello YOU MORON ITS *TOO not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out
RIP Harambe
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend. So she invites him to a romantic dinner. After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it. But her boyfriend was clueless about such acts. So she tell him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 positions. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same. But the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly the girl had an urge to fart, but hold it in because her asshole was right near his bf face. Suddenly she loses control, and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says
"Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
Today Me and My Best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge and i told him to back up, R.I.P to him.
Your Mom is so friking fat,THAT WHEN SHE RIPPED HER PANTSAND WENT TO THE SEAMSTER THEY SAY WE DONT SEW CURTAINS
Robin Williams’ death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed)
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee, his dad sees this and says "i saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies "i don't care, i don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says " i saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little johnny replies "I don't care, i don't like butter anyway." Both little johnny and his dad go in for dinner, johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. little johnny looks and smiles and says "do you want to tell her or should i?"
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip.
his last words: paint dosent taste good
My grandpa died during world war II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have every seen. RIP.
jack and jill went up a hill to smoke weed jack and jill got high and jack ripped jills close right off her then jill ripped jacks close off jack wen they were fully naked they started to kiss but jack stoped jill said i know you wana jack said no but jill jumped on that candy stick any way jack gave in to jill. jill got off then let jack suck her candy stick jill sucked on jacks candy stick
jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool then jack came in and asked jill if she wanted to ride in his new car she said i have to think then jack said at least let me by you a drink after 5 drinks he asked again this time she said yes so they got in the car and jack and jill roed up a hill to to jacks home then jack said (close your eiys i got a supries )so jack lead jill to his room then said open your ies so jill opend her iese then jack got them some red wine jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and jack said i know you wana she said no way so jack gave her one more drink then she passed out then jack ripped all his close off then he did the same to jill then he did it till 3am
