Riddles
Why is 1 equal to 22?
4 is too busy and one has the 21s to 4!
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
What goes up stairs but doesn't move? Stairs! Laugh now!
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!
Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."
Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"