Riddles
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.
What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
What is the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy.
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?
A motherboard.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
What is ioooooooo?
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.