Riddle jokes
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What is 2+2? Fish.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.