Riddle jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An envelope.
What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.