A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?
On Black Friday!!!
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?
Family Dollar store.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag
One is made of plastic and bad for kids the other one holds shopping
You can't send an Indian to walk a corner. The only corner they will get to is 7-11.
