Retail jokes
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
What's an Indian's favorite store?
Red Dot.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?
On Black Friday!!!
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
What's an orphan's least favorite store to go to?
Home Depot.
I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?
Family Dollar store.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.