So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
I went to the store and I saw no oranges, and I went to ask the cashier:
"Cashier: Which one?"
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
Why does Tesco like midgets?
Every little helps.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
