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Restaurant

Restaurant jokes

We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.

I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"

What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?

Abortion of chips.

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?

Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:

Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

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    • The deaf man said to the waiter:

    "Mmmm."

    The waiter said, "No English."

    Then the deaf man signed, "F U."

    A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.

    The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."

    So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"

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