what do you call the christian version of donald trump? holy shit.
What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there
why are people mad at me? all i did was the truth, and put the bible in the fiction section of the library.
Whats the difference between a jesus and the baby in my basement? Jesus died a virgin
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon.He tells those who believe in god to stand up and leave.To the children who don't leave ,he says ,"Do not worry my children,I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Bible Verse of The Day-For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. —Romans 8:15-16
Wanna hear a joke? :Jesus being real
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest from a zit, one waits until your twelve to come on your face.
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
God: “Stephen join us” *sees the staircase to heaven*. Stephen: “shit”
In the bible it says Jesus died for our sins but he came back to life so what did he sacrifice? Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
There is no god. None not one.
Why did the child cross the road? To get to the church. Knock-Knock. Who's there? The Priest... Lets go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says “Where’s Mohammed?
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas (Even though cows can't really have religions)
What did the racist catholic priest say?
Martin Luther not my king.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
POV: You are a passanger on September 11th, 2001 and you see the pilots wearing a muslim turban.
The Drunk and a priest
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
What do you call a priest that is a furry? A catholic
