Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
why are people mad at me? all i did was the truth, and put the bible in the fiction section of the library.
Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
