Religion jokes
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "father."
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So it has someone to call father.
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
The priest had a very holy shirt.
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jesus.
Jesus who?
Jesus Christ, open the door!
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
Yo mama so old.
Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.