Newest Relationship Jokes - Page 13

Girlfriend:Babe what do yo think of our love? Me:Look at the stars in the sky Girlfriend:aww... it’s infinity right? Me:No,it’s a waste of time. Girlfriend:I’m breaking up with you. Me:Whatever when I take out the trash I think of you

Man:Can You be my girlfriend? Woman:Im Lesbian, Sorry Man:Oh, Heres your rope

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye! Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.

babe im breaking up with you. y? im turning 18 tomorrow

My Crush: I cut 4 inches of my hair yesterday Me: So? My Crush 4 Inches is alot! Me: Oh yeah?

Wives are like Grenade’s. Pull the ring and the house is gone

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

what makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar? They can't stand up for themselves.

Dad:Are you Gay? Kid:Yes. 10 days later. Kid:I’m going to my girlfriends house. Dad: I thought you were gay.? Kid:What’s wrong with you he’s the girly girl of our relationship dumba—Dad:Don’t swear and okay bud

My bff asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?" I said: "Why?" My bff says: "Well its because he was already cheating." I said: "KNEW IT!"

If you think long and hard Oral sex is like Cannibals

I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes

He hugged me!

"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."