Relationship jokes
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
Your mother.
You're really sexy 😉
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in your man's pussy.
Ur mum gay, lul.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Oliver Savage and Dr. Mummy.