Relationship jokes
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"
Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."
Who likes penis?
My cousin!
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Me: What's that sound?
Ex: What?
Me: Oh, it's the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
Kaden wants to have sex with you.