Relationship jokes

I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

She won't talk to me anymore.

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

Why do orphans love chips?

Because they're all family sized.

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

My uncle is an alchemist.

He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.

I heard you were looking for a stud...

I already have the STD; all I need is you.

I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

F in orphan means family.