Relationship Jokes

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.

He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.

Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.

Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!

Wait, what Billy?

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.

Like if you can relate

A two panel image showing two dogs. The top panel shows a light-colored chihuahua looking directly at the viewer with a concerned expression. The text above the dog reads, "Mom... can I ask you something without you getting angry???" The bottom panel shows a black dog with glasses sitting at a table with a sewing machine in the foreground, appearing stern or annoyed.

It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.

What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?

There are 20 of them.

What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.

If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.

Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."

No, a lot's been through you.

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.

After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.