Relationship jokes

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?

My uncle is an alchemist.

He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"

Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

What's fat and wanks over his mom?

Guy Sheppard.

My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑

Why do orphans love chips?

Because they're all family sized.

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.

Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...