Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Alone time.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
My ex.
Your mum... payed other people to take you!!!!
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
