Relationship jokes
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.
I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."
Cuddle with you.🙂
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?
There's 20 of them.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.
My nan's gayyyyyy.
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
Your mum gay, lol.
My mum.
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.