Relationship jokes

Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.

What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?

"Alcohol, you later!"

What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.

What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?

Kinder

How do you suck a dick?

Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.

What do you call Holly and Elenji?

A couple.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Your mom.

Hi, Dad.

After all these walkers, you still walk over me.

My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"

I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"

She said, "Why?"

I said, "'Cause it's your twin."

I like wine how I like my woman.

4 year old locked in a basement.

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

What do you call a gay friend?

Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.

My sex life.

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.

What's the best part about plowing your cousin?

- It makes your sister jealous.

When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.