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Relationship

Relationship jokes

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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    • My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.

    What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

    Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

    I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

    A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.

    An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

    "I will see her in one week!"

    A week later, he died.

    I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.

    Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

    Edna: Hey there big boy!

    Big boy: You need to stop doing this.