Relationship jokes
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?
Rap lovers get more pussy.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Why are lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.