Who needs singles day when your single for the rest of your life!
So as a school shooter, I try to remember my abc's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN! And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speaks to me about the rest.
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
today, i asked my phone, "siri why am i still single" and it activated the front camera
My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Donβt be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
Mom: son where is my condoms son: what are condoms DAD: she puts it on me and the sandwich son: wait why did my girlfriend come over and take one dad: um I don't know but go to bed son: but it's 2:46pm in the afternoon bruh
I have an awesome sex drive, my girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
disease technically means "lack of ease", so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease that's what elliot rodger did
if u were a vegetable u would be a cute-cumber
what makes a nuke and divorce the same?
it only takes one of each to end your life.
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone
Ex Boyfriend: how and why?
Girlfriend: Because your about to die
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.
what makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common? not all are friends
My wife said she wanted to leave me she said itβs because of the abuse but really sheβs the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got positioning the next day this shows almost half of the womanβs population is weak both physical and mentally
Why can't a get a girlfriend? Because I'm an beta male simp
