New Relationship Jokes - Page 17

Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.

babe im breaking up with you. y? im turning 18 tomorrow

My Crush: I cut 4 inches of my hair yesterday Me: So? My Crush 4 Inches is alot! Me: Oh yeah?

Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."

So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."

Wives are like Grenade’s. Pull the ring and the house is gone

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

what makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar? They can't stand up for themselves.

Dad:Are you Gay? Kid:Yes. 10 days later. Kid:I’m going to my girlfriends house. Dad: I thought you were gay.? Kid:What’s wrong with you he’s the girly girl of our relationship dumba—Dad:Don’t swear and okay bud

My bff asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?" I said: "Why?" My bff says: "Well its because he was already cheating." I said: "KNEW IT!"

If you think long and hard Oral sex is like Cannibals

I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes

He hugged me!

"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."