Relationship jokes
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Amber Heard Daily Routine:
Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.
Yeah, Eli is hot.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
My brother when he sees a girl.
Uder the sheets.
Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.
Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"
"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.