Relationship jokes

I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

Violets are blue, roses are red.

Last night your mom was giving me head.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?

They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

How can you tell your best friend is gay?

His meat tastes like shit.

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.

Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.

Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.

You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.

You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.

My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.

My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.

Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.