Relationship jokes

"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

It's not incest if you're adopted.

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

How do you break up a fight between two gay men?

Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?

Me time.

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.

Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.

I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

Violets are blue, roses are red.

Last night your mom was giving me head.