I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh how did I survive. Fortunately being her husband I was the 1 person she wasn't fucking.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
I once was playing with my friend and roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. i broke up with her and unfriended him then i saw my mom and my uncle crying! Me be like : ;-;
I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.
my grandma told me i was next at my brothers wedding so i told her she was next at her husband's funeral
What do orphis and broke up couples have any common
They cant see each other anymore
We split because she used always say I never listen, or something like that
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 your got to turn around.
My last relationship ended because my ex girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset, to be honest I didn't like her anyway, she kept telling me I never listen, or something like that
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child*
If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
9 months later they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
2 years later they went up again then their daughter had a brother.
But 1 little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother..
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
ur smash me so hard i gave her the d