Relationship jokes
If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.
If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
What did Mrs. Hotdog join after Mr. Hotdog joined LGBBQ+? The LGBBQ++ premium.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.