Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
Relationship Jokes
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Like if you know an orphan.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
