Red

Red Jokes

God

Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?

People

How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.

Dot

A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"

Woman

What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?

A black woman dressed for church.

Nun

What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

Lottery Ticket

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

Poem

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Yeast infection

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Poo

Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

Rose

Roses are red, Violets are blue, All the worse jokes come from you.

Suicide

Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.

Jew

Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.

I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.

Penguin

What's black and white and read all over?

A newspaper.

What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?

A penguin falling down the stairs.

Pikachu

Latias is red.

Latios is blue.

You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.

Flag

Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.

Yeast infection

What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Zoo

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!

Story

True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.

The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"

Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"

Rose

Roses are red.

Grass is green.

I think of you sucking my peen.

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