Red Jokes

Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

Rose's are Red Violets are Blue I've got Genital Wart's, Soon you will too-

Roses are red.... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you

Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!

Roses are red, oranges are orange.

Get a life, quit watching porn.

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.

What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

...A girl scout that got hit by a car.

Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.

Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.

How do you paint a wall red?

You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.

After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.

Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.

What’s Black, white, and red all over?

An ethnic orgy

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.

How do you blow up an Indian? Press the red dot in the middle of their forehead!! 🤣😂😆😁

rose are red i wish you were dead

What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a red Ferrari? I don't have the Ferrari.

roses are red violets are blue she is hot but you're as ugly as poo