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These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.

Boy: Spell ME.

Girl: M-E.

Boy: You forgot the D.

Girl: There is no D in ME.

Boy: Not yet.

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.

Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?

A. They're both really short.

Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.

When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."

When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?

Asking for a friend.

A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."

"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"

Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"

The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."

"What the FU***** SH**"

Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

Son: Dad, am I adopted?

Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?

My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"

  • 1

    • I have a really good joke.

    Do you want to hear it?

    Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.

    A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”

    Mother: How is my little cookie doing?

    Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.

    Mother: Really?

    Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.

    Mother: 😁♥️🍪

    So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.

    “What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.

    “Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.

    So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”

    “Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”