Really jokes

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.

An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."

Yo mama was really the reason why the Titanic sunk.

How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?

Call her on the phone.

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.

What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."

The past, present, and future walk into a bar.

It gets really tense.