Realization

Realization jokes

Mask

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

Parking Lot

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

Earthquake

5 views ·

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

String

I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.

Parachute

1 view ·

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

Man

10 views ·

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

Car

1 view ·

I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.

Door

1 view ·

When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!

9/11

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

Suicide

17 views ·

Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use

Buffet

7 views ·

You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.

Cage

2 views ·

When you're in a cage But it's not real!

Being in a cage But you have the key.

Being in a cage But nobody sees you.

Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.

Living and realizing you've been born into one.

Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.

But you can't live without them.

The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.

Stand-up comedy

15 views ·

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.