Rape jokes
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
It's the 1940s.
The chink was counting his shillings. The chink was bitching. His wife got raped in Nanking. The chink counts his shillings.
The chink gets sook chinged!
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two; 1 to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.