Putin jokes

Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.

"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"

What is the difference between Putin and an onion?

Nobody cries because of a cut Putin.

What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?

"Yesssss Massager!"

Adolf Hitler + Vladimir Putin = Vladolf Putler.

Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?

His name is Vladimir Pootin.

To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?

QUEUE THE MUSIC

BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT

Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Lmao Trump and Putin dislike my jokes! 🤣😂

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.

"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha

You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.

Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!

What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?

Answer: Putin, put out!

Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?