Putin jokes

"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

Russia.

You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.

Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?

Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!

Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.

Putin: Crimea river.

The "S" in Putin stands for smart.

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?

"Yesssss Massager!"

"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"

Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!

Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.

What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?

Answer: Putin, put out!

"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha

Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?

Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?

Your mum!!!

Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.

Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?

QUEUE THE MUSIC

BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT

Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.