Put jokes

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

What happened when you put your penis in? You start cumming!

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?

Me: The medication is the drugs.

Use the roast I put of flat earth.

What the can say to the tomato?

Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾

I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.

What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels.

How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?

Put a flower on their gravestone.

There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.

Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.

A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."

Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?

What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!

What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?

Putting the nappy on afterwards.

How do you make a Tico dance? You put a little boogie in it.

Only a city council committee would create this mistake.

Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!

I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

RIP Meh Soul.

Why don't I poop Windex? Because I Pledge to do my doodie!

Put some Windex on it.

Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!

Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.

Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!

Man 3: Me first!

OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?

All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(