Put jokes

Pig

Teacher: Ok class, good morning. We are going to start off by asking what kind of sound animals make.

Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

Class: A cow says "moo moo."

Teacher: Good!

Teacher: What does a sheep make?

Class: A sheep says "baa baaa."

Teacher: Good! Now, what does a pig say?

Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall, you stupid mother fucker!"

Drama

I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!

“Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.

Priest

Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?

A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.

Sex

Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.

One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.

So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.

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  • Orphan

    Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!

    Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!

    Good luck, Jake.

    Memes

    Foot

    I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.

    Masturbation

    Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.

    Anyways,

    Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

    More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!

    But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

    How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

    How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

    Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".

    What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".

    If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.

    Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!

    Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

    What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

    Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.

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  • People

    People who put jokes on here re: Depression are really not nice people, you yourselves are a fucking joke. 😩👎

    Time

    One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

    Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

    Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

    So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

    And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

    Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

    I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

    Bullshit

    Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

    Treon: How did you find that?!

    Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

    Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

    Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

    Treon: We can't!

    Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

    Birthday

    How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?

    Put a flower on their gravestone.

    Yo mama

    There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.

    Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.

    Glue

    What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!

    Orphan

    What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?

    Hot Wheels.

    Mouse

    A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."

    Playground

    Only a city council committee would create this mistake.

    Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!

    Fanny

    What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?

    Putting the nappy on afterwards.