Put jokes
I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
What is a testicle's favorite book?
Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
Yo mama so stupid, she put a ruler under a pillow to see how long she slept.
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.