Purchase jokes
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
I bought a book for my blind friend.
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.
How did you get that? Used your life savings?
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and he just sat in his wheelchair and cried.