Purchase Jokes

My gf left me for spending my own money I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute she leaves me

Why couldn't the orphan buy chips

They were all family sized

One day a orphan bought a boomerang he threw it and it didn’t come back

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

A girls walks into an Adult Store. "Hi I want to buy that Red Dildo right there"

Cashier: that's a Fire Extinguisher you whore"

I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

It was a complete waste of money.

He just stands there applauding and saying

"Ooh, I love how smooth it is."

You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?

Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.

I was going to buy a watch today but I didn't have time

What was the Worse Purchase America ever made?

Spending Billions on Two Rice Cookers in 1945

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say 'Thank God' and to stop the horse, to say ' Hallelujah'. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".

What's the similarity between my son and a rug from ebay-? I asked for a refund.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.