Purchase jokes

What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

Where do you buy cows in bulk?

At the stock market.

I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.

Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?

He can't afford a family pack.

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

Hehe

I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.

Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?

A: He could not use his mother's credit card.

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

Why do orphans never get a car?

Because their parents need to buy them one.

Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.

You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.