Puns

My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.

Well, because it's impastable.

I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.

How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?

Ten-tickles!

What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?

A bull in a china shop.

What do skeletons say before they eat?

Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.

What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.

My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!

During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!

Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”

I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.

He one day said his business was "remarkable."

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

Because he got hit by a bus!

Josh: Tell me something funny.

Mark: My life.

A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.

I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

Why do leaves change color in the fall?

Because they want to leaf their old color.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."