Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Puns
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
What is Thanos's favorite video game?
Pokémon Snap.
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
Oofer.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
Hitler was a dic-tator.
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
