Puns
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"
The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
Tell me a joke.
OK, your face.
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
I'm sorry, none of my jokes are very punny.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!
Student: Oh, did I miss anything?
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.