Puns
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
What is Thanos's favorite video game?
Pokémon Snap.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
Oofer.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
Hitler was a dic-tator.