Puns

I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.

Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?

A tromboner.

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”

What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Thumb nails.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

So he could get into high school.

Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.

What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"

What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?

"Hey BrO!"

Yeah, not too bad at all, really.

Q. You know what really bugs me?

A. Insect puns.