Puns
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?
Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.