Puns

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?

Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"

I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

A pun enters the room and kills ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Need an arch? I Noah guy.

Will Will Smith smith?

Yes, Will Smith will smith.

My teacher: Time can't count.

Me: Every second counts.

My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!

I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!

Can I tell you a cat joke?

Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.

The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.

People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?

The first airplane.

A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.