Puns
What flour do orphans use?
Self-raising flour.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
Because they cut deep.
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
A list of Sans puns would be Sans-tastic!
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.