Puns

What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower? You got off clean

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom, because he had no BODY to go with.... i could have said a skeleTON more jokes.. but i think that might brake your funny bone

Why can't pooh bear catch a date. Because he is always talking about his honey.

I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie. I responded "yes" and he said: "okay, 14159"

My wife still misses me...

But her aim is getting better!

What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet SUPPLIES

Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it..

What does it sound when a dragon sings? A fire alarm

Roses are red He shows no remorse

Santa claus Has joined the terrorist force

Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.

What do will from stranger things and the fresh prince of belair have is common there both named will and there lives both got flipped turned upside down

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.

Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.

Why didn’t the girl like stairs? They were always up to something.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.