Puns
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!