Puns
How did the hipster drown? He ice-skated before it was cool.
The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
"Are you related to Yoda?"
"Because yo-delicious!"
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
5+2 = 7
But 4+3 also = 7
So take your own path.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
Wanna hear a joke?
Your outfit. Har har!
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Maggot.